Drug-free Delivery; Definitely not for the Faint-Hearted

For anyone who has ever talked to me about having a baby, you know that I LOVE the epidural.  I have often said that I want to go into the hospital to deliver a baby backwards; so they can put in the epidural before I even get into the bed.  I'm serious about that.  I feel no shame in saying that I want a pain-free delivery.  I have experienced plenty of pain in my life; I know what it feels like; I don't like it.  My idea of a perfect delivery is laying in bed, pain-free (of course), laughing with my husband, listening to Stan Getz and watching Oprah.  (Oh yeah-- that was Anthon's birth!!)   I had only two requirements for finding a doctor here in Japan:  #1  He gives epidurals; #2 He speaks English.   I found a doctor (one of the very few here in Tokyo) who fulfilled both.

As you can probably discern from the title of this post, Ella was born sans epidural.  All I can say is that I should have known.  Everything about this pregnancy has been much more difficult-- I should have anticipated a dramatic finale.  

Here's the story:  Saturday morning Tony and I headed to my doctor's office.  The doctor wanted to do one final check before we went into the hospital.  After the all clear, we headed home to pick up our bags and then took a cab to the hospital.  The plan was to check in and start an IV with a very low dose of pitocin.  My OB was to come in about 3 pm to administer the epidural and rupture my membranes, and we'd anticipate an early evening delivery.  Ahhh, the best laid plans!  Everything was right on schedule until just before 3pm, when the nurse informed us that the doctor was running behind and wouldn't be there until 4pm.  No biggie; I still wasn't even uncomfortable.  In fact, I was so comfortable that I decided to take a nap.  

At 3:30pm I was asleep; at 4:45 pm Ella was born.  The 75 minutes in between were pure hell.   Just after I woke up I began having VERY painful contractions, and by 4pm I was ready to push this baby out.  Unfortunately my doctor was caught in traffic-- and the midwives wouldn't deliver my baby for me.  Instead, they put my legs above my head so I had to work against gravity, and they told me to breathe.  I had taken lamaze classes in Pasadena-- but I'll tell you what, visualizing "the wave" and hee hee hee breathing did absolutely nothing for me; I needed to push that baby out.  The next thing that I know, the midwives are pushing the baby back into me.  They are giving me instructions in Japanese-- which I don't understand; I'm trying to "breathe" and shouting at them in English to get their hands off of me and just let the baby come out.  Tony tells me that the hospital doctor is coming-- just to hang in there.  The hospital doctor arrived, stood there, and watched me.  I distinctly remember looking up at him in my pain-induced delirium and shouting for him to deliver my baby; get her out of me.  Nope.  I just had to keep waiting (and screaming) while the midwives held my legs up and push my baby back inside of me.  Finally, my OB showed up and Ella was born about 60 seconds later.   Literally.  Everyone was just waiting for him to get there.   What was the point of having midwives and a hospital doctor?  I don't know, but it was an absolute nightmare. 

We checked out of the hospital Monday morning, not even 48 hours after Ella was born. This was quite unusual, as the typical stay in a Japanese hospital is minimum 5 days.  The staff kept asking us if we were sure we wanted to leave.  Are you kidding me?  This is the place where they push your baby back inside of you and other strange things that I won't relate over the world-wide-web.  We will do fine at home, thank you very much. 

I asked my doctor what had happened and how that situation could be avoided in the future.  Obviously, if he had been there at 3pm, I would have had my epidural.  If he'd been there at 4pm, I could have simply pushed my baby out.  But honestly, who would have thought that I'd go from asleep to delivered in less than 90 minutes?  His guess is that I just deliver babies really quickly  (a pretty good guess considering my sister and my aunt both have about a dozen contractions and then deliver).  I was only on a 1/2 strength pitocin drip-- so it wasn't that I'd been given too much hormone.  And my water didn't break until I was at a 10 and pushing.  He said in the future he would always suggest a scheduled delivery-- with pitocin and an epidural administered at the same time, otherwise I might not realize I'm in labor until it's too late to get to a hospital.  

But, as horrible as the whole ordeal was, I still have more to be grateful for than I have to complain about.  First and foremost is my beautiful little Ella Nadine who was worth every ounce of that pain.  I honestly adore her.  I could spend the whole day snuggling her and it would be a good, productive day.  Second is that Ella and I are doing great.  She doesn't seem to have any ill effects from being held in the birth canal, and I am feeling fine and recovering well.  Third, that I didn't go into labor spontaneously.  I only had 30 minutes between really feeling like I was having meaningful contractions and feeling that I wanted to push.  I would have had our daughter in the back seat of a cab if I'd waited until I thought I was in labor to go to the hospital.

After this experience, I am even more firmly rooted in the "give-me-the-drugs" camp.   I know quite a few of you endorse natural birth-- more power to you my friends.  I'll take the stick in the back and listen to my jazz!

Ella Nadine Cannon

The baby kimono from the hospital (it is Japan after all).

The family of 4 (don't you love Anthon's expression?)

My little girl and me.

For more pictures, check out Tony's website.

Ella Nadine Cannon is here...

Ella Nadine Cannon was born Saturday, May 3rd at 4:45 PM. Both Shelley and
Ella are doing great. She weighed in at 6 lbs 14 ounces and was 49 cms...if
someone wants to convert that for us, go ahead! She came out with lots of
dark hair, a cute round head and big eyes. We think we'll keep her.

I will provide more information, including pictures, when I can.

Tony

--Sent from my Blackberry

I'm Lovin' It

I have been tagged by my friend Jill to list 7 things that I'm loving this week.  I've actually been really glad to have something to think about other than ways to get the baby out (yes, I'm still pregnant; and I've tried most of your suggestions to no avail)  Anyway, here are Shelley's top 7 for the week:

#1  4-Day Weekends with Tony

 

This is "Golden Week" in Japan.  There are quite a few national holidays all in a row, and so many people take off the days in between and have a nice vacation.  Tony had a 4-day weekend last weekend and will have another 4-day weekend this weekend.  It is so nice to have him around.  We went to the zoo and the park, went row boating, fed ducks, goats, turtles, and fish, held guinea pigs, and ate Doner Kebabs.  Anthon and I definitely have more fun when Tony is with.  I think Anthon's expression sums up the way we all felt weekend.  (And yes, that is a foot long hot dog on a stick; Anthon ate every bite of it.  He definitely didn't get that from me-- I hate tubular meats.  YUCK!)  Also, here's a link to pictures from this weekend.

#2  Anything Lemon-Flavored

 

I have been having an insane craving for lemon stuff the past couple of weeks.  (This is my first real craving of this pregnancy; better late than never I guess).  Anyway, I made these delicious lemon bars and this scrumptious lemon cake.  And I made enough of both to store some in the freezer as an emergency backup-- just incase I need something lemon-flavored at 5:30AM.  

#3  Foot Rubs

I think that foot massages are about the most wonderful thing in the world.  It's so relaxing-- especially at the end of a day when you've been on your feet a lot.  (Or at the end of the day when you are pregnant-- that extra 25 pounds certainly takes its toll).  My DH has been kind enough to indulge me with a few wonderful foot rubs this week.  Thank you, babe.

#4  Finding butter at Costco

For those of you who are not aware, there is a butter shortage in Japan right now.  The store that I shop at most regularly only gets butter in a couple of times a week, and even then it's gone quickly and there is a 200g per person limit (that's less than 2 sticks worth). Tony brought butter back from Los Angeles for me last week, and my mom is also bringing some from the states when she comes.  (Who would have thought that's what I'd want from America??  It's really too bad that I don't like margarine)  Anyway, today at Costco, I found butter!!  I got to buy a whole 800g worth!!  Talk about hitting the jackpot.

#5  Washi Eggs

 

My picture here doesn't do these eggs justice; washi eggs are absolutely gorgeous.  They are blown-out eggs, covered in beautiful origami paper and then coated with 10 coats of lacquer.  We had a Relief Society Enrichment on making washi eggs just after I arrived in Tokyo, and I've got the beginnings of a nice collection.  I don't really like making the eggs-- the process is too long and tedious for me.  But the end product is so gorgeous, that I'm determined to keep going until the jar and the basket I want to fill are full.  

#6  My Mom is Coming Tomorrow

 

I can hardly wait for my mom to be here.  She is so fun and easy to be around.  Plus, I won't have to cook or clean, Anthon will be totally happy, and she'll take care of Ella so that I can sleep.  My mom has more energy than anyone I've ever met; and she's the most positive person that I know.  Last time she came to visit us, Anthon kept telling me to go away because he wanted to be only with Grammy; he wanted her all to himself.  Too bad son, she may be your grammy, but she's still my mom!

#7 The End is Truly in Sight

For a variety of reasons that I won't get into, my doctor has decided that I should be induced on Saturday.  Yeah!  As long as the hospital has an opening for me (apparently inductions are considered low priority), I'm going to be prego for only 2 more days.  Wahoo!!  So look for pictures of our newest bundle of joy very soon!  

There you have it-- my top 7 for May 1, 2008.

A picture of THE BELT

I had a request for pictures of THE BELT.  Here they are.

I'm 38 weeks prego and I'm ready to meet Ella.

I am DONE being pregnant.  I've done my time, the baby is full term, my bags are packed (THE BELT is in them, of course), my house is clean, there's food in the freezer so my family won't starve, all of Ella's clothes and things are washed and ready to go, and my fingernails and toenails are even polished.  I just need to get this baby out. 

My two pregnancies could not have been more different.  When I was pregnant with Anthon I felt so beautiful, I was active, I could touch my toes.  I honestly can't think of a happier time when I felt better about myself; I could have stayed pregnant forever.  I even slept flat on my back the night before he was born-- and I didn't have to get up to use the bathroom once.  This pregnancy has been much more difficult.  I've struggled to stay happy, I've been uncomfortable almost since the beginning, and I have felt HUGE for the last 4 months, nauseated almost the whole pregnancy, and only recently have I been able to bend over again (Ella has dropped a little).  I feel like I'm suffocating if I lay on my back and I wake up at least once a night to use the bathroom.  Also, this time around I'm getting varicose veins and stretch marks-- yuck.  I didn't get those with Anthon.  Here's the big enigma-- with Anthon I gained 45 pounds!!  Yikes.  With this pregnancy, I've gained 22 (and that's after overeating the night before).  

Tonight I asked Tony to take pictures of me in the same outfit I wore in the pictures he took right before Anthon was born.  To be honest with you, I was shocked.  I thought for sure I'd look WAY bigger this time around because I certainly feel WAY bigger and my belly doesn't seem to be able to stretch any more.  As you can see, I look really HUGE before giving birth to Anthon-- my belly, my butt, my face.  Why was I feeling so beautiful??  I don't look nearly as pregnant this time-- so why am I so uncomfortable?  Who knows, but I'm still ready to be done!

  

I've been doing some research online about natural ways to induce labor.  None of them are working.  I have yet to try the acupuncture (what is worse-- being pregnant or having someone stick you all over with needles?)  I have, however, tried the acupressure and have been squeezing key places on my ankles, hands, and lower back throughout the day (the other ladies at the park must think that I'm nutso).  I also haven't tried castor oil-- but my little English/Japanese translator can't translate that for me, so I don't know how to ask for it.  (And castor oil may be even worse than needles).  If anyone has any ideas on how to entice a child to make an appearance in this world-- I'd love to know.  And if that means acupuncture and castor oil, I think a few more days like this will motivate me to try even that.

You didn't wear THE BELT??

One of the best things I've done since moving to Tokyo is joining a playgroup with moms from all over the world.  I've literally met people from the USA, Israel, Great Britain, Japan, Australia, Spain, Hungary, and Russia through this group.  It's interesting to see how different things are in different countries when it comes to kids.  It's mum instead of mom.  The Hokey Kokey instead of the Hokey Pokey.  And Ring-Around-the-Rosies is completely different.  It's also really nice to have a handful of Japanese friends who grew up here and know the culture and how to read Japanese-- but speak English and can help me out.  They read my mail for me and walk around the grocery store with me so I can figure out what things are.  

Recently, the topic came up of the post-maternity belt.  "What's that?" I asked.  The other women were shocked.  

"You didn't wear "THE BELT" after having Anthon?" they asked.

"No.  I don't even know what  THE BELT is."

"Didn't your stomach stay kind of loose and your hips never get quite as narrow?"

"Yep, isn't that part of having a baby."

"No.  It's because you didn't wear THE BELT."

So here's the deal with THE BELT.  I'll explain it like they did; take it or leave it.  Apparently, there is a hormone (called Relaxin) that is present in a pregnant woman's body at the very end of pregnancy.  It softens the cartilage and ligaments in the hips so that the baby can pass through the pelvis and then stays in the body for a short time after delivery.  After the hormone is gone, the cartilage and ligaments firm up again and the hips become immobile.  So the theory is that after the baby is born, women should wear this post-maternity belt, cinched up as tight as possible so that your hips are narrow again before the cartilage firms up.  THE BELT also holds your belly in so all of that loose skin returns to normal and becomes taught again.  All of the women in my group are tiny with flat tummies; and they all swear by the belt. 

I, however, wasn't convinced.  Are you kidding me?  A belt can do all of that.  I asked another Japanese women I know with kids if she had ever heard of a post-maternity belt.   "You didn't wear THE BELT?"  she exclaimed.  I guess that answers it.  The "wearing-of-the-belt" is ubiquitous here.

So I've got a belt.  My friends at playgroup instructed me on how to cinch it up.  (Tony is to use his leg as leverage against me and pull as hard as he can as he tightens this thing around my hips-- and this is to be done immediately after delivery.)  I'll let you know how it goes.  If it works wonders for my body, maybe I'll start an import business!  

***P.S.  I was mentioning "THE BELT" to my visiting teachers and one of them told me that her grandmother (who is American) used to swear by the same thing.  She would don a super-tight girdle as soon as she had delivered each of her children and she remained svelte her entire life.  So may THE BELT is a lost practice of Americans too.  Or maybe anyone who would care enough about their figure to don a girdle or strap a tight belt on immediately after delivery and continue to wear it during that horrible recovery period also can resist the 2nd piece of chocolate cake!!  Anyway, it's worth a shot.

Something is sinking in.

Every Monday night, Tony and I try to have family home evening with Anthon.  We sing songs, say prayer together as a family, and try to teach him something (why it's important to obey, who Jesus Christ is, to be grateful...).  Most weeks, it's a struggle to say the least.  We use a family home evening treat (which Anthon generally chooses) as a bribe to keep him from running out of the room, to get him to sing with us, and to persuade him to fold his arms during the prayer.  To be honest, I've wondered if it's really worth it; but we persist. 

This week, I heard Anthon singing some church songs in his room and then saying a prayer.  A few minutes later, he came to me and announced that he needed a family home evening treat.  

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I just finished family home evening with my little people."

I went into his room and found his little people lined up on his table with his children's Book of Mormon out.  Anthon told me that he had prayed, sung, and read to the little people from the scriptures.  Now he needed a family home evening treat to share with the little people.  Of course he got one.

So maybe a little something is sinking in.  

The Fire Stick

To the best of my knowledge, Anthon has never seen a gun.  I can't remember him playing with toy guns, we don't own any guns, don't watch movies about guns-- you get the picture.  While we were out walking a few days ago, Anthon picked this up and said, "Mommy, look.  A fire stick."  He proceeded to "fire" at everyone who passed.  How on earth does he know about guns?  Boys will be boys I guess.

  

Addendum to Misplaced Chivalry and Other Thoughts on Japanese Men

Thank you for all of your comments.  I had no idea so many people read my blog; I'll have to be more careful about what I write!!  I have to admit:  I've been feeling a little guilty since posting my first piece.  I truly don't want to convey a totally negative picture of  50% of the Japanese population.  And I don't feel sorry for myself; I may complain a little, but I am fully capable of taking care of myself.

I also want to point out something I failed to mention before-- most of my experiences have been on the trains and in train stations.  That's where I come into contact with the most people.  I guess I should compare commuting on the trains here in Tokyo to driving in traffic in LA; I don't think that it brings out the best in people.  So maybe it's not fair to form opinions based on that thin slice of a person's day.  

Also, I had a very positive experience with a very nice Japanese man last Thursday.  After Anthon and I finished rowing along the moat, I was having a hard time getting out of the rowboat.  My big belly and the unstable boat weren't a great combo.  Anyway, this very nice gentleman actually lifted me out of the boat; I was very grateful and felt more than a little guilty that I'd just portrayed his gender in such a negative light 2 days before.

 

Lastly, Friday night, Tony and I saw this picture in the train station.  So I'm not alone in thinking that such public indiscretion is disgusting.  

So please know that I don't hate all Japanese men, nor am I having a bad experience here because I have to open my own door.  But just so you know, I still plan on opening my mouth if someone opens their girly magazine next to me on the train!

Sakura Season, Part II

I had grand plans this morning to drop Anthon off at a child's play center and go shopping to find Tony's birthday present (his birthday is tomorrow).  But this was the view out of our window at 7am this morning; so I changed my mind.  The sky was too blue and the cherry blossoms too beautiful to spend the day in a shopping center.  Anthon and I were going to spend the day enjoying the cherry blossoms once again.  

We went to the Imperial Palace in the center of Tokyo and walked along outside of the moat.  It was spectacular.  You can rent boats and row along the moat-- so of course we had to do that too.  It was idyllic.  The cherry blossoms come down to the water's edge, the day was beautiful, and when the wind would blow it appeared to be snowing cherry blossom petals.  Anthon was thrilled to be in a boat; he kept waving and shouting to the other boaters, "It's so beau-TI-ful!"

  

 

For lunch we had ice cream cones.  

 

I don't think that a day gets any better than this.  I'll just have to shop online tonight and wrap a printed picture of Tony's birthday present for him.  Sorry, babe. Is it my fault that you were born in sakura season?